April 29, 2014

behind the dust


Some of you might know those images already, but it was fun to put the little selection together and to turn things around. Life is all of it. And more. Nothing dances more beautiful in the early morning sun, but dust. And a wild backyard holds many more secrets, than a cleaned up spot. Who doesn't like secrets anyway. An angry Queen needs to calm down eventually. And see. And breathe. And laugh and love.


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

April 27, 2014

queen of colors


A week of silence in this space usually means, either things are very busy in the Fishbowl or some little drama is holding me back from writing. In this case, unfortunately it is a combination of both. Remember me, asking you to cross your fingers for Tuesday? And you obviously did, because the challenge in front of me, was conquered pretty fine. Thank you so much for that. After it was done though, we have learned about some facts, that made all the celebration and the success kind of useless. Sorry, as I can't go into details right now, but we have been working for something for more than a year, only to find out, that the basics for our plan, are totally different from what we were told. In the first place, the only thing I felt, was being devastated. Totally shuttered, helpless and incredibly tired. The worst combination to make proper decisions, of course. While thinking and talking a lot about it, after having conversations with experts and with beloved friends, I am more angry than anything else. So is the husband. I am angry about people promising something, something really important, and not being able to take the responsiblity for it. You don't promise what you can't keep and if during time, you'll understand that you might not be able to keep your promise, you'll say so. But letting people believe everything is going right, only for your own sake, and totally ignoring the outcome for your client is really, really low. In every aspect, actually. So after five days of digesting, we did come to a decision and I am absolutely convinced it is the right one. As I have said, I am still pretty pissed, but do feel in control again, which is the first step to overcome this unpleasant episode. Our decision does mean, we have to reschedule a lot of stuff and find alternatives. But an ending is always better than going on, when you sense the path is leading absolutely nowhere. * swearing out loud for the last time.












April 21, 2014

queen of colors



As planned the Easter days were spent in a gorgeous blur of nothingness; somewhere between a day enjoyed in my mother-in-law's precious little garden, between a lot of reading and of the most delicious orange cake I have eaten so far. Only a tiny bit of work sneaked in, when we did a little shooting for a friend (which still included a lot of coffee and cake) and when I've cleaned my brushes today, to be ready to get started again by tomorrow. Tomorrow will be exciting anyway. More about that when it is done, as I do have to admit a bit of superstition living in this old heart of mine. So, wish me luck and have a great start into the upcoming week as well.













April 19, 2014

maybe a little while


What a precious gift; two, well almost three days of going slow and off taking a break. How much I have been longing for this. And even the weather seems to be with us, inviting for a stroll and big smiles. We've already started today, with a chilled out shopping spree to the market. Beautiful flowers, a lot of feel good food and a big pile of reading delights are in the house now. There will not be a lot going on and I so love the sound of that. Except from a little dancing in the kitchen, a lot of sleep and a family BBQ by tomorrow, the sun and the couch are ours. I hope you have equally relaxed plans for the upcoming days, and are enjoying a lovely Easter Break too. Take you time and breathe and dream.


P.S. This wonderfully drawn Easter Card has been in the mailbox today. Thank you Superkuz, I love it. 




 




April 17, 2014

working it & strawberry tales


I don't know about you, but I am pretty bad, when it comes to eating routines while working. Yes, living with a chef husband should fix this a little. Chefs though, are the worst when it comes to their eating habits. Always in between, generally on the run, they almost never take the time to sit down and eat slowly. As you might know we're cooking in the Fishbowl, if possible every single night. Even when I am on my own, because the husband has a job somewhere else, I will cook for myself. This is great and I totally love that time of the day. It does make up for something. During daytime though, it is a bit of a drama. While working, I tend to forget about everything and Superwoman style, ignore my body getting hungry. Who wants to interrupt, when things are running smoothly. Right? And then, suddenly I will find myself hypoglycemic and so weak, there will be no time left to get some proper diet, but sweets, fast food or sometimes even half a bag of chips. I know, this sounds terrible. Believe me, typing it feels equally unpleasant. So far, I have never thought about, why someone usually aware of what she is eating and someone who is very much in love with fruits, vegetables or homemade bread, sucks that much when it comes to integrating food during studio hours. If you don't want to read anything about self-awareness and how routines do affect us, stop right here. I obviously avoided it for a long time too. Only very recently I did understand, why I am handling things as I do and that eating poor is nothing, but the perfect way to stop me in my tracks and to block a good running flow. Simply, because things running good, can be equally great and scary as well. How silly is that? Well, people are silly, I guess, and the fact that I am aware of it now, should be the first step to change it. So today, I did treat myself to regular breaks, ate healthy stuff and made myself a divine smoothie on top. It took me a while to make all this, but though we're already in the early afternoon hours, I am still working and still feeling a buzz of energy. Some things are that simple, we just tend to overlook or ignore them for the wrong reasons. Having that said, the thing I wish for you for this thursday: "Enjoy your meal, guys."



 
 


April 14, 2014

queen of colors


Is it really possible to start another Queen of Colors like this? Have seven days seriously passed since the last one? Not sure if you're still taking me seriously or if I am starting to bore you, but yes, it has been another crazy, busy and full on week. And to make things look even more ridiculous; Monday night and everybody in the Fishbowl is busy again. Holy Canneloni. I know about the importance of downtime and of taking breaks to recharge those batteries, but how hard it is I am trying, in the moment it is simply not something I can do. The good part of all the buzzing, it makes me feel energetic and motivated and for most of the day, there is that precious flow, we're all gaining at. So, I've decided to go with it for another while, simply work through the piles bit by bit, and appreciate the tiniest moment to catch some breath. Like now, preparing dinner and listening to music, while the husband and I will have another cozy kitchen chat. Take care out there, and if you're busy bees like us, maybe it is fine to just enjoy it.




 
 
 
 

April 09, 2014

on drawing and scanning




Another day in the studio is gone. A day with me rising very early and with feeling quite exhausted by now. I didn't want to leave Fiswhbowl without saying "Hi" though and without showing, that the collection of the food related watercolors is constantly growing. And to tell you, that I have learned some very big things about my scanner today. Even a common machine like a scanner, does have its deep, deep secrets. So, by next time this kind of work will actually look even closer to what I want it to look like. At least, it is what I am aiming at. It is absolutely true what they say; you'll learn while doing. Sometimes it even needs a bit of bravery. Most exciting, I think.




 




April 06, 2014

queen of colors


It is already Sunday night and I am sitting at my office desk in the studio, while listening to chilled out tunes and breathing balmy Spring air. All easy and serene. The day passed in a blurry mix of sunshine, blossoms and cake. Infused with long conversations and a lot of getting lost within a powder blue sky.  After a couple of intense days, far too little sleep and a fair that has left me completely perplexed, this was a cure very much needed. A bit cheesy to say so, but yesterday has shown me some rather unhappy stories and people, who have stuck them themself into dark dead-end streets, with no strength to leave them. For that I do not only feel sad, but also thankful and proud to be able to life a very different life. Circumstances are of course one side, but our decisions are the other. And that is the one side, we have power of. This night is to happiness, as fleeting as this might be, and to the concious decision to be so. Have a gorgeous week and dance a little.










April 02, 2014

the beautiful ordinary of change


The area in which we live has changed a lot over the years and lately, I am not really sure anymore, what to think about this. For almost six years, we call the Fishbowl our home now. In the beginning, we were almost alone around here. Working, living and loving behind those old shop windows, only a footstep away from the sidewalk. Most of  the other shops were empty and our neighbors worked as cap drivers, hairdressers or they've owned old fashioned imbiss places. Nothing trendy, seldom young people. Of course, the houses have been beautiful already, the rents have been relatively moderate and the Landwehrkanal, an amazing place to be around in summer, gave the area that special kind of feeling that only next to the water areas have. After a while, more and more creative people moved here, the shops opened up; containing sweet caf├ęs, studios or little design companies. And, it was lovely. Very lovely indeed. Lovely though, never stays are secret for long. The area changed even more rapidly, became more crowed by each year. Don't get me wrong, I am totally happy about this growing and raising, and I do love having all these international people around me. Life is change. And it definitely should be like that. But change doesn't stop in front of us either; it seems to be getting harder and harder to relax around here. At least for me. A while ago, we've decided to cover a part of the big windows with foil, as it got quite tricky to follow up routines and to concentrate on our work, while people were passing by or knocking to say "Hi". The foil did help. Then winter came and this helped even more. Since a couple of days, Spring has arrived, with all that comes with it, including open doors and windows. I could never close those, when it would mean to miss the sunshine and this special kind of silky air. Nice weather for the Fishbowl also means, we're having our breaks in front of the studio, on that orange bench, meeting up with friends and drinking coffee. All in all lovely too. And inspiring. After a week of sunny extravaganza though, I feel kind of exhausted and a bit splattered all over the place. When being on my phone with my brother tonight, sitting at my desk, I finally had to quit that call, due to people talking to me from the sidewalk. And now, I am left with the question, is this a matter of drawing even more strict boundaries or have I simply outlived this place? Am I still in love with the Fishbowl or is it time for a change? Or, is it like deep down I already know the answer and am simply not ready for a possible outcome? Life is never a straight path, I guess, and with that in mind I am having dinner and will see what tomorrow might bring.