January 31, 2013

updating happiness

Last night I was sitting with a friend, drinking red wine, and talking about one and a million things. It has been a spontaneous visit from her and as random were our topics. From love affairs, to working as self employees, up to family stuff. The more hours we've sat, maybe the more wine there was, the more serious our conversation became. And suddenly, in the middle of sharing the life stories of our stepfathers, and both stories are not the light and easy kind, suddenly she looked at me, smiled and said: "You know what I was thinking just yesterday? I sat on my bed, all alone, and it occured to me, that I am happy right now. Absolutely happy." Strangely enough, it were exactly the same sentences, that I had in the back of my mind. Though I know, moments like this won't last for very long, this is were I am at. Right now. Right here. I am absolutely happy. For no reason at all. I simply am. Sometimes we need to go deep down, facing the most painful interior, to come back and feel a bit more complete for a while. Thank you, my friend, for this. To a shiny and bright Friday.

January 29, 2013

the whole of sweet routine

There was not an awful lot happening in the Fishbowl today. Quiet studio hours, dirty fingers, little blossoms and a good cup of coffee with a friend. She went off, to work in India for a month, I went back to painting. In the afternoon a very helpful phone call and an appointment made for the weekend. A little ball throwing with the dog then. Back to painting for another hour. It has been a good Tuesday. Classical childhood food, spinach and eggs, is waiting now. To an equally good tomorrow.

January 27, 2013

queen of colors

When it comes to this week's Queen of Colors, one could have predicted the outcome. With all the snow business going on around Berlin, it only started again a couple of hours ago, white is actually not the biggest of surprises. Still, until Wednesday, I was sure the result will be totally different. Sorry Petra, you especially wished for something else, but even with only a tiny pinch of snow, it has to be white. White in many shades; from the crispy kind to a warm muted one. White like the winter skies, like my favourite tea pot and most importantly, white like the new laundry detergent, that I've been using for the last two days. Running as many machines, as I could possible fit into 24 hours. After finding out the hard way, that I am reacting highly allergic to the brand we were using so far, every single piece of fabric needed an extra washing. We're half way through, but there are still towels and  cushions waiting by tomorrow. Not the nicest point on the list, but I am happy that the evil allergy trigger is finally found and so I don't mind too much. White and washing it is.

My most favourite shade of this week's Queen of Colors though, is the innocent idea of a new week ahead. To an inspriring week and to a little less icy one.

January 24, 2013

for the sun of it

an art yet to learn
this is the picture of the sun
As the day didn't reveal any light at all, I've made some sun of my own. It's always best to get the story running by yourself. So now, I can proudly present some sparkling new prints in my Tiny Fishbowl Collection Shop. Images that have appeared around here and which I used as the base for a little picture poetry. I had a lot of fun with them and believe, they came out quite well. And the best part, Society6 is having a sale and when ordered until Sunday this week, the shipping will be free. Wherever in the world you guys might reside currently (oh, please don't tell me, if it's a place sunny and warm. no, seriously, you totally deserve all the nice things. it is just so freezing cold here! ).

Besides, I would really love to hear about your thoughts on the pictures. For now, I need a hot tea and some chocolate.

January 23, 2013

sliding through

Not a lot is happening around the Fishbowl these days. Emphasis on, around the Fishbowl. I am very busy in the studio, but as Berlin still has a good dose of snow, which doesn't go very well with walking on crutches, most of the time is spent inside. Actually, the snow isn't so bad, it is more about the icy base underneath, that makes it almost impossible to enjoy relaxed walks around the hood. I don't mind this too much, as these things happen, and I rather take them smiling and in Cripsterstyle, than getting frustrated. Emma our dog though, hates those moments. Of course. Well, hate is maybe a bit too drastic, but while the husband is out cooking and giving classes, she has to come up with a lot of patience. And I have to come up with a lot of funky games; like throwing the ball down the hallway, playing hide and seek with her favourite treats and one or the other exercise, to get her brain cells busy. If I'll wait too long before starting some action, she'll actually get quite moody (not that I do not understand!) and quite annoying, but after thirty minutes of intense playing, Emma is back to her usual chilled out self. Dogs can adjust to so many situations, it always amazes me. I am still sure, she is secretly looking forward to warmer days and a little grass under her paws. Until then, we'll go a little crazy and rock that studio.

January 21, 2013

monday, paints & a little more on routines

A regular Monday at the Fishbowl. Finally, after weeks with visitors (which, of course, has been super nice!), with mixed up schedules and some unexpected drama, today was wonderfully unexciting. And, as it is snowy outside and freezing cold, things looked bright and it was easy to stay focused. A couple of hours of office work, a lot of painting and a nice, but quick winter lunch. Only the husband spoiled the peaceful setting, by making fun of me. Looking at our little camera, which is around only for a couple of months and which is already covered in paint, he just rolled his eyes and laughed. Well, I cannot help it, it seems. How do handle this issue, my fellow artists? Any suggestions? I haven't found a solution yet, as when a picture needs to be taken, it just needs to be taken. No matter, in what conditions these painter hands are.

January 20, 2013

queen of colors

Sorting out last year's pictures from the Fishbowl, it seems like every week had been dominated by one particular color. Sometimes it has all been about the blues and the greens, when during another week, white had been all over the place. Maybe this is the result of me being back in the studio, juggling paints all day, but I found this quite interesting. Looking deeper into it, I've decided to start a little trial for myself. From now on, every Sunday, I am going to post the Queen of Colors. Images of bits and pieces, that have been around over the seven days prior.

As you can see, the Queen of Color, has definitely been yellow lately (except from the pink in my work though!). From bright to juicy, wonderful shades of yellow. Which to me is really impressive, as at this time of the year, I thought Berlin wouldn't have too much of it. Obviously it does. Not to mention, all this yellow came as presents into the studio; Asian sweets, Mangos and wonderful salty Danish licorize. Yellow simply could not get any better than this. And I am already excited what next week will look like. To a bright one ahead, for all of you.

January 17, 2013

the pink will pass

The greatest part in working with oil paints, is probably the fact, that the piece will undergo constant changes. Nothing basically stays like it is. When I first started using oil paints, this actually, has been the most scary part for me too. You'll work with layers, and different to all other painting materials, oil paint makes you start with the dark and bright the colors, while adding lighter and more muted ones throughout the process. Things can look pretty ugly in the beginning. Almost like a kids painting, but you gotta be brave and keep on rocking. It'll be fine. At some point. As another advantage of oils is, you can keep on working forever. Oil paint doesn't dry easy. So, when I came out with this weird, pink color themed, portrait over the last two days, it made me nervous only for a little while and then, I've decided to ignore the awkwardness and dive into it. Knowing by the last brushstroke, it'll look totally different anyway. Enough for today; I am dirty and the studio air feels heavy from all those turpentine fumes, hanging around. Off to the shower and for some heartwarming spinach pizza. See you tomorrow.

January 15, 2013

about the first day

Actually, yesterday had been the day, when I was supposed to return to the studio. No more Fishbowl office, but the real deal. Painting, painting, painting. Life simply doesn't like to play by rules and within the first hours, it brought so much unexpected things to our door, I gave up on getting creative by early afternoon. Next day, new chances and here I am. Preparing and scetching new work. There is not much to show yet, but I am still such a happy camper to be back. Including those beloved studio lunch breaks and a  very special Thank You Note, from someone equally special. The Fishbowl seems to still love me. I cannot wait, to return by tomorrow.

January 12, 2013

getting back home

Still here, still making plans and still busy, organizing the year ahead. One could get lost in all those ideas, but slowly the studio is calling for me. Very loud in fact. It is about time to get dirty again and to go back to that thing, I am actually here for, to go back to making art. Holy Canneloni, how I have missed it. On the other hand, those breaks are definitely needed. Once in a while, sometimes a bit more often, it's so necessary to check where you're heading and if the language you are used to, is still the one you feel yourself mostly represented by. And for in me, I can tell you, it is. So, coming Monday, I will be back in the Fishbowl, finally reunited with those brushes, paints and canvasses . What a party to start the week off with. I can't hardly wait. For tonight, there is an art party waiting for me and beforehand, I need to get dressed properly and rush of the house. Are you always that late too? Have a good night, wherever you are and whatever you are up to, enjoy it.

January 09, 2013

on mud & memories

This day made it pretty hard to stick to it; the most awful Berlin weather, grumpiness everywhere (the Fishbowl included) and basically no natural light. Not pleasant at all. But, as there had been a long walk with the dog on the list, for days actually, I've decided to bite the dust (or maybe better the mud) and go for it. Once out there in the woods, dirty shoes, coat and hands, from throwing the ball, the nasty feeling suddenly dissapeared and changed into a pretty energized state. Sometimes it's all about getting yourself into gear. No matter what.

P.S. The family pictures are part of a little book my grandmother filled up for me. You can actually buy different sorts of them (in German), give them to your loved ones & they are invited to write down all those family stories. I promise you, there will be so much, you have never heard about.

January 06, 2013

one year after

One year ago, I had a nasty accident, crashing on the concrete floor in the bedroom. On my back. Everything worked out just fine in the end, but for eight hours, in some deserted hospital hall, it wasn't sure if I had broken my neck. These have been the most horrible hours of my life so far. Seriously, being tied to a stretcher and being told not to move, by any means, did knock me of my feet. Badly. After four hours already, you would have found me crying like a baby, totally broken down and painfully helpless. This simply, has been traumatic and it has followed me for weeks and months afterwards. Hectic moves, stuff that was dropped behind me, ended more than ones in a little scream and a good dose of trembling.

One year after, this day greeted me with a lot of grey and even more rain. And though things are almost back to normal, today kind of uncovered weird emotions. To be reminded of this incident. I woke up with a certain kind of nervousness and over the last hours, actually couldn't decide if to feel relieved and festive, or if the memory of this "close to the edge" experience, is almost as scary as it was back then. I am still unsure and believe it's a good thing, the day is close to being over and I can go back to my routine by tomorrow morning. Well, maybe not quite. I just lit one of the sparklers, lying around the Fishbowl since New Year's Eve, and promised myself to not shut this memory down. As uncomfortable it makes me, I am still here and I do love this life. To an incredibly precious gift, that has been given to me. Twice.

January 05, 2013

picturing it

island crossing
the art of going slow
the memory jar

late night geometry
Over the last days, besides still inhaling the newness of this year, I was working a some more images for my shop on society6. This time they are mainly details from different EnviromentInstallations, like the Memory Jar or Spoiled By Available Landscapes, which we had here at the Fishbowl. And I have to say, I am pretty happy with the results. The images look pretty cool and they definitely do tell more of a story, than I would have ever expected. So if you are interested, I would love to hear what you guys are thinking. Having the opportunity, of learning about other people's ideas on your work, is the best part of being an artist. At least for me. Over all those years, it helped me grow artistically and to develop a more distinctive way to create. And it is clear, this road is long not traveled to an end. It never will be. This day though is, coming to an end. I wish you a wonderful Saturday night. See you tomorow.

January 03, 2013

wind, rain & other accomplished details

money by BLACK FROG
Someone gave me money today. No real money, more as a symbol, but it felt good. Almost as good as the soup, I had a little later, and all the things, I was able to tick off a long list. Done. There is no such thing as proper New Year's resolutions, at least I do not believe in them, but there is that feeling of a clean and fiery start, into another twelve months of the rollercoaster called life. And energy like this shouldn't be unused. No matter where it came from, as long as it feels sweet.