May 29, 2012

"island thoughts"

Today my brother is moving. He is moving to a sunny island and this makes me smile, and a little proud too. I love it, when people who are close to my heart, use their wings and fly. Isn't that what life is all about. My brother is moving to an island and I am here, in the Fishbowl, thinking about what possible directions I might  turn next. Berlin is great and it owns a big chunk of me. For a long time already. On the other hand, I kind of sense, it is time to move on. Not today, nor tomorrow, but it is time to have a look at the bigger picture and fantasize. There are some pieces missing around and I need to find out, if they can be found somewhere else or deep inside myself, only hidden. My brother is moving to an island and I am asking questions and am making plans. Have a great start down south and thank you for the inspiration.

May 27, 2012

"friday creatures"

The Fishbowl had a very nice visitor. Natascha came by and we had coffee together. We talked about all that comes with being an artist, about the ups and downs of being self employed and even about, what life is being a woman of our age. How weird that sounds, but actually, that part had been the funniest one, including tons of laughter. That woman is not only a great illustrator, she also knows how to tell a story. When she left, some little creatures stayed. My favourite one gotta be the Little Red Riding Hood. Thank you so much for such a marvelous afternoon. Today the summer has to stay on the other side of the window, as the husband and I have caught a nasty flu. For the rest of this sunday, it will be the couch. Hopefully by tomorrow we will be back, catching some sun.

May 23, 2012

"no ordinary tuesday"

Lucky for us, the weather is unpredictable and sometimes changing quicker than the blink of an eye. After the grey clouds we had in the Fishbowl over the weekend, last night came with a wonderful surprise. We had been invited to a secret house concert by my talented friend Andrea Schroeder. The concert took place in the private atmosphere of an amazing loft, a room covered in candle light, and the guest list included the loveliest friends and neighbors of the band. Though I am in love with her voice, the tunes and the urban poetry of the lyrics, since I had the pleasure to listen to her music for the first time, this setting made everything even more magical. Almost like invisible, tiny feathers, changing the direction of the wind. Thank you guys for a wonderful night; I am feeling home again.

P.S. If you are in for more, the band will play the Orange Blossom Festival next weekend and soon be opening four shows for the The Walkabouts.

May 21, 2012

"noisy dawn"

Summer in Berlin, starting with light, sunshine and bursting greens everywhere. And with an open window, I wish not to have seen. We all have our thoughts about others and it is always a pleasure to be suprised by them, being so much more. So different to what they appear at first sight. On the other hand, it can come around quite disturbing to suddenly meet someone's dark sides. Saturday night has been about this, some shocking insight just before dawn, and I am still chewing on it. Though the drama witnessed wasn't even about us, I am still trying to get around the fact, that the nicest people can turn into the wildest beasts, and that a smile is not always what is on their mind. Not simply, because it is written all over their face. Of course, I am no spring chicken and have experienced similar things more than once, but in this case it feels extremely drastic. As nobody in the Fishbowl did see this coming. Last night, when having a glass of wine together, the husband said:"I am trying hard to focus on all the great stuff around the corner, but this story provokes my sense of justice. In a very stressful way." A tough lesson on how to distance, to wait and see and, finally probably a lesson on how to release that stress for our own good.

May 16, 2012

"zoning out delight"

Only very rarely, we will probably get the chance to look back into the days. Into times, long gone, from a position more comfortable and safe. From today. A commercial shoot, happening in front of the Fishbowl, made me exactly that precious present. Having worked as a movie editor for many years, having shot several short movies, at a certain point I made the decision to call it quits. A clean cut, as it felt like I was only committing half hearted. Trapped somewhere between long nights in a cutting room or equally long days on set, and the intense longing to go on with my art. It was obvious that something had to change. Either it was to intensify my movie career and saying goodbye to a life dedicated to my other love. Or walk the unknown and jump into the cold water of being a full time artist. My heart decided for brushes, paints and a studio. Of course, there are still moments, when I miss what comes with working on a movie. That very special way of telling and building up a story, for example. Today though, it was such a relief to be only a bystander. To watch all that running around, the large amount of people trying to synchronize their different professions. I felt incredibly comfortable and happy, to sit in the studio and to be able to call myself an artist. On that note, thank you Alexandra Hedberg for giving me a lot to think about during tomorrow's time off. .

May 13, 2012

"luck on a string"

This has been some kind of a week; riding a rollercoaster would have been nothing compared to the last seven days. A lot of phonecalls, even more emails, food on the run and far too little time in the studio; we are still feeling quite breathless in the Fishbowl. And in sunny dancing mood. Yes, very sunny. Though in the middle things felt tiring and a bit hopeless, really big things are on the way now. I cannot wait to share the wonderful news, but for a few more days we will simply cross our fingers and stay quiet. As hard as this is for me. On top on all the amazing stuff, I have won something, which usually doesn't happen to me. Thank you liv + dave for the nice surprise. The next thing on my list is a great dinner, with the husband tonight, and hopefully another inspiring week ahead. Somebody out there to pinch me?

May 08, 2012

"moving, pushing, smiling"

It has taken ages, but now the portfolio for my EnvironmentInstallations is finally done. What a tricky things this was. Usually one would probably do some video stuff, taken during a show. But as my work is always something to walk through, rather haptic and interactive, than simply to look at, I definitely wanted something to touch. A little three-dimensional object; something special and traditional at the same time. So the idea was to create a one room dollhouse. Thanks to the help of my graphic designer, it turned out exactly how I wanted it. I am absolutely happy with the outcome. Thank you Marc Prinz. Though we were building a box, you are perfect in thinking exactly out of this. One step closer to tying up loose ends, never ceases to come with the very sweet feeling, of having things done.

May 04, 2012

"on sticking with another day's sun"

There is definitely a lot on the plate for today. And tomorrow. And sunday too. Though we try to arrange for one lazy day over the weekend in the Fishbowl, this time we will have to stick to the light of our little wednesday break; visiting an inspiring show, having coffee at a wild urban garden and getting the last pieces to finish up the portfolio around my EnvironmentInstallations. It has been a lovely day. For now it is serious studio time. Being busy doesn't have to lack sunny things, I guess.

May 01, 2012

"faded pleasures"

I have found a secret lake. Somewhere in the middle of the city, hidden silently behind a weathered wooden fence. No one had payed attention, it felt, for ages. No one had taken a swim there, but it was still obvious in its greens, blues and turquoises. The lake came with a house, though the shape of it had been forgotten within minutes. I have found a secret lake and I have fallen in love with its shyness and its pond, filled up with tiny noises of splashing water and bell-like laughters. When closing my eyes, I find myself in the middle of someone else's photograph. I might just stay there for the rest of the day.