January 26, 2011

"ambitions, destinations & a good dose of slow-motion"

Though I had planned to treat January like a delicate flower, it must have slipped me, this woman is no propper gardener. And that patience is not one of my biggest talents. Three weeks into the year and I find myself in the middle of a strange mixture of planning future projects, tons of paperwork and the ambitious task to make time for quality studio hours. It feels like all these different energies and agendas need some propper juggling and that I better do not turn my back on one of them, while everything around seems to be driving with their brakes on.

Maybe there is a trick to this and I just have not found it yet.

"beyond the rain II"

"the marvelous wurstsack in tha house"
It worked out and though some people didn't show up, we had a great night, delicious food and even more fun. Thank you to our very special guests and Thomas, who created some magic in the kitchen. From now on
I will be addicted to his sautéed cardamom milk with sweet guacamole.

January 22, 2011

"beyond the rain"

Getting up was a real task this morning; I could have stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Lots of coffee, unhealthy sweets, magazines and books, what a tempting idea this was. You wouldn't have guessed, the plan was different. At least once a month we're having one of our SPEAK EASY CLUB DINNER. We sent out a menue, something we are in the mood for, and people who like it as well, are invited to book a place at our table. We never know what kind of group we will have, but it is always an interesting and inspiring adventure. Today though, I definitely ran low on motivation and it took me two hours to even start. You probably know that feeling of really looking forward to attend a certain invitiation and you get very excited in advance. The night the party is supposed to rock, you are suddenly in the mood for your couch and some movies at home. Well, that was exactly how this felt. After pushing myself a bit, I did get on track, but the beginning of the preparation started bumpy and unpleasant; our favourite wine store was closed for not known reasons, the Asian supermarket lacked of fresh vegetables and after doing all the shopping, I've recognized that there is no single candle left in the Fishbowl. The thing with these moments is, you have to go through them. When you have finally reached the party you weren't in the mood for, they quite often turn out to be the best nights ever. I am not that far at the moment, but after unpacking all the wonderful, fresh ingredients and the aroma of ginger, lime and mint coming from the kitchen, I am prepared now and actually can't wait to have some delishes Asian bites. Have a surprising and wonderful Saturday night everybody!

January 18, 2011

"on the way"

Working on all those EnvironmentInstallations over the last months, has been amazing. Especially the process for the "the memory jar" was a lot of fun and it is still unbelievable how many visitors we had that night. I love filling up a room with a certain atmosphere and watch how this affects others. People share so many different thoughts and stories during such an event, it is a huge gift and the biggest reward I could imagine. While creating those rooms is truly inspiring, I felt to have abandoned painting a bit too much lately. Like hiting a wall each time I was ready to start on a fresh piece, every attempt stopped at some very early stage. Nothing seemed to fit or to lead somewhere. A bit of a painter crisis, I guess. As I have read on another Blog today, we obviously need such moments of doubt and the fear to have lost something. Suddenly it was clear as stock, as we Germans use to say. I picked up the shiny new tubes of oil-paint I had purchased last week. No plan, no concept, and it worked. I haven't used oil-paint in ages, as I mostly work with acrylics, but now it clicked. This was the missing link. Within three hours I've almost finished a complete painting. And what is even more precious, I cannot wait to go back into the studio by tomorrow morning.

January 16, 2011

"chances are"

A couple of days ago, a fellow artist approached me, asking if I would be interested to work on a big show with her. We have been a team before and it was an amazing, though stressful experience. I truly admire that woman and her work. She is absolutely inspiring and one of these personalities who bring the best out of somebody else. So she told me about that enormous industrial place and its owner, who plans to establish an important art space there. We would not only be part of the show, but also decide on the topic, select the artists, make desicions on the catalogue, on the design and last but not least, we would be the ones to define four weeks of a supporting program. It feels like some huge chunk of a cake or a delicious, but heavy meal, too much of the good stuff. Since I heared about the idea for that show, my mind seems to ride through wild areas and then again, freezes in a second, not able to think one straight thing in hours. To organize, curate and exhibit within one show is a big deal. Something quite overwhelming. When on the other side, it highly triggers my ambitions, kicks of my creativity and my will to make a difference. I know that I can do this and it is absolutely tantalizing to only imagine it. Just, how could I ignore the frightening parts of it; like responsibilities, the need to raise money and a million other obstacles that are going to pop up sooner or later. Are there great risks or is it simply my mind, playing sneaky tricks on me and trying to scare the hell out of me?

January 12, 2011

"previously light"

I must confess this week hasn't reached me yet. I still smile about a weekend, that had be more than different from what it was expected; including one interesting Saturday night.

Finding ourselves on the stairways of the house we live in, together with almost half of the other tentants, is not the usual Saturday Night Fever Program. We we're about to prepare a quick dinner, before heading out to a party, when suddenly the lights started to flicker. Once or twice they've blinked and then the flat went pitch black. Only seconds later it knocked at the front door; neighbors wanting to know if we have the same problem. It always amazes me how nervous people get, when things are slightly different from their routines, and even more, how they act when stuck in an unexpected situation. The lady next door, instantly, came out with a bottle of Vodka; I am still convinced, she already had half of it. One guy from the penthouse, who is a dance teacher, positioned himself on the stairs, talking and talking about what we should do best, while others, without attracting any attention, took out their mobile phones and tried to call the power company. My favourite quote of the night though, came from the Facility Manager. He showed up after two hours, went to the cellar with his assistant, only to leave again five minutes later. He told us, that he would go home to look up the phone number of the power company on the internet. Maybe people act like that all the time and it just doesn't show, but at this point I wasn't sure if he was just kidding us or he meant his words seriously. After a while the excitement in the house lowered a bit and everybody went back to their own flat. The problem was, with the power went the heating and as we live on ground floor, this wasn't the most cosy perpective. Taking a shower in a chilly flat, no hairdryer at hand, not something I was overly keen on. And though our birthday invitation sounded truly tempting, we decided to cancle it and stay at home. First we had that simple but marvelous potatoe soup, surrounded by candlelight. After that, althought it was not even 11 p.m., we went to bed; equipped with even more candles, two good movies and one of our notebooks. Not very exciting, but one of the best Saturday nights in a while and I was almost sad, when my bedside lamp turned back on at 3 o'clock in the morning.

January 05, 2011

"strategies of a snail"

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Though it was planned to start this new year with some big Boom Bang, it already teaches me its first lesson. Of course things are not going according to plan and of course I am old enough, to should have known better. Berlin is still freezing, so does life in the Fishbowl feel. Slowmotion in every corner. The first three days at the studio are basically over and I am still surrounded by piles of paperwork, untouched emails and overdue pieces of Christmas decoration. Not even talking about a messy bathroom and boxes over boxes next to the couch.Yesterday, when nothing seemed to go anywhere and one step ahead, resulted in two back, I kind of started to get hysterical about it. Like, this was not what all those horoscopes were telling me about a very sucessful and even more happy year. Please do not laugh, but I was close to stamp down my foot on the ground, screaming: " I want action. Now!" The result was ordering pizza, having too much Red in front of the TV and a very sleepy artist in the morning. Typing this, makes me blush actually and astonishingly, laugh about myself more than anything else. And guess what, exactly that seems to be the key. The moment I shot the picture of these little golden guys, making themselves comfortable on a stack of bills and letters, that are waiting for my attention, I started smiling. Alright, the new year wants me to start as slow as the old one wanted me to end it. I get, be it. Maybe tomorrow things will change or maybe I will understand what this lesson means. I don't care anymore, but will go into the kitchen and cook my favourite vegetable soup. Tons of chili and cheese on top.